Book Review ‘I’ll Be Gone In The Dark’
“This is how it ends for you.”
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This was a challenge to get through. It is dark and unsettling, creating the feeling of ultimate terror as I read through not one tragedy but hundreds. It is unfathomable the damage one individual can do and astonishing the resources it takes to not only get that individual behind bars but the aftermath and effect on all of the victims, family members, detectives, sleuths, and seekers of the truth.
Michelle McNamara is a remarkable writer, her words evoke emotions and feelings as if you were experiencing the massacre first hand. It is an unnerving and horrifying event to live through, and it is so sad what happened to all of these individual lives. McNamara provided a unique way to capture the events that took place as well as the magnitude of the effect this had on livelihoods of those in California at this time and into the present.
In true True Crime Fashion, while not only reading this book I also watched the HBO series and listened to the accompanying podcast all at the same time. Let me just say, this was a mjor mistake, too much of true crime is not a good thing. This really scared the socks of me in the night when every little sound became an intrusion and a dangerous life threatening event, even if it was just BB adjusting in her sleep, it would take me a while to feel safe enough to fall asleep.
It is a true tragedy that McNamara is no longer with us and her death adds to this story in such a painfully shocking way. Many times while reading this book I had to stop and put it down, to save myself from complete overwhelm. Multiple times I had to turn on silly tv shows like Schitts Creek to remind myself there is still love and good in the world.
There are moments in the book, aside from that of the Golden State Killer, that I really resonated with, especially McNamra’s insight into the relationship she had with her own mother. She shares how complicated their relationship was and was still coming to terms with some of their different interactions.
“Writing this now, I’m struck by two incompatible truths that pain me. No one would have taken more joy from this book than my mother. And I probably wouldn’t have felt the freedom to write it until she was gone”
I thank McNamara and all involved for sharing their story and allowing us to better understand the events from such a sad time, so as not to only understand the work it takes to hunt someone down but even more than that the time it takes to recover if that is even possible from something as horrifying as this.
