The Easiest Hello & Hardest Goodbye

BB was born on September 8, 2015 outside of Tampa Florida. One night while hanging out with Adam (before we were married) I was scrolling through pinterest while he was playing a video game and I came across a breed of dog I had never seen before, a Goldendoodle. Out of pure excitement and just shock at how cute this dog breed was I started crying and told Adam I really wanted one. For months I researched and read and studied up on Goldendoodles.

By chance the Saturday before Thanksgiving in 2015 two women were selling Goldendoodles within the same location near Tampa, FL. I begged and my begged my brother to go with me, as I had only been driving for a few months and super nervous about driving on the freeway and he finally begrudgingly agreed… whispering under his breath not so quietly that I better buy a dog if were travelling a total of six hours just to look at them.

It was one of the most exciting days of my life and it was a lot of fun getting to spend the day with my brother. We laughed and told stories and talked the entire way there. As we approached the first location I started to get nervous, because we began entering what seemed like the back woods of Florida in the middle of no where. I was very worried that I was un-knowingly taking my brother to a puppy mill. The woods got denser, the road became rougher, and we became more nervous. That was until we turned a corner and the road opened up into the prettiest little farm and I immediately knew everything was going to be ok.

We walked in full of excitement and proclaimed to the lady that we were there to look at the Goldendoodle puppies she had for sale. She said she only had four left and walked over to a wagon wheeling it away revealing four very small fluffy balls of golden fur.

We were like kids in a candy store. These puppies were all so precious and had we had the money we probably would have left with all four. We sat and played and I was digging a little boy in the group who was full of energy and already huge for his age. The owner warned us not to pick the dog but rather let the dog pick us. So we kept playing trying to determine how we pick just one.

Then my brother very carefully sat on the ground and the runt of the group ever so quietly climbed into his lap and looked right into his eyes and we knew immediately she was the dog for us.

Her birth name was Kim, she was only 8 pounds and she was so timid and small. It was heartbreaking taking her away from her siblings but we were so excited to have picked a puppy both knowing in our hears she was perfect. We paid for her and left, with the owner warning us that she would probably need to stop multiple times on the way home and she would probably pee in the car. I let the other lady know that we had found a dog and was nervously texting my mom letting her know the news.

She was so tiny and obviously scared as we were taking her out of her environment and away from her family. We kept her very comfy and held her close trying to decide what we would name her. Originally I had wanted a boy dog and to name him Mr. Bear but she was sweeter and cuter than I had ever even imagined. We came up with a whole bunch of names including Burberry, Button, Bubbles… until we settled on Baby Bear or BB for short.

She was perfect the entire car ride home. She never peed she just sat and hung out with us and listened to us talk. It was one of my most significant days of my entire life. She was so special to me and its hard to believe it all happened so fast.

She was a super happy, well behaved (for the most part), silly dog. She loved to play outside and chasing tennis balls was her absolute favorite. We loved kissing her on the nose and taking her for walks. She slept with us in bed every night and loved to snooze on the couch during the day. We used to sneak her into our community pool so she could chase her tennis ball at night and took her on all sorts of adventures. She went everywhere I went.

During the day when I was at work she would stay with Adam’s parents and get their full undivided attention and love. We would often get photos of her sunbathing on lounge chairs and texts like “BB just had a nice steak lunch!”

She was friends with every single person she met. She frequented our local Lowe’s so many times that one day we walked in with her and one of the employees casually nodded “Hi BB” as we walked by. My husband and I were in complete shock.

Adam used to honk her nose and we came up with an endless amount of nick names for her like Boobsters, Beebsters, Wiggle Butt, Slides with Front Paw, Sleeps with Flat Face, Boo Boo Bear, White Lightening, Moochy Poochy, Poopsters, La Flama Blanca and so many more I can’t remember.

She was more than a dog. She was my best friend. She knew all of my secrets, and was there for all my happiest and saddest moments. Her life went by to fast and I know there will not be a day I wont think about her. I feel like I could write a book about how many adventures we had, including the time she saved a little birds life or the time she was the only thing protecting me from a dangerous man on a bridge late at night.

BB and I were blessed to have so many people in our lives that showed us love. My mom let me bring her to work every day for her first year of life, and forgave me (sort of) after she ruined her whole house. Adam was the most amazing dog dad to BB and always gave her kisses and took her out to pee. My brother Michael loved playing with her and scrunching up her face, always saying she was really his dog since she originally picked him. Adam’s parents opened their homes and heart to BB and she loved being with them so much. When I got pregnant BB wouldn’t leave my side, including sitting outside the shower door watching me until I was out and safe on dry land. She didn’t fully understand Jack at first but loved him the moment he started feeding her from his high chair.

Saying goodbye to her will be one of the hardest things I have ever done. She was apart of me and I know that one day we will meet again. Maybe one day I’ll post the story of her last day and what lead me to make the decision but for now I just want everyone to know how happy she was.

I hope she is having lots of fun in Heaven, playing with all the tennis balls, laying stretched out in the grass, drinking water with ice cubes, and getting lots of cookies.

My life will never feel the same without her.

I love you so much BB and I will miss you every single day.